Dean was a low life coke head. He hadn’t always been this way. When Jamie first met him in college, he was the most charming person she had ever met. He was her drug of choice. She couldn’t get enough of him. All the little things Dean did for her made her fall even harder for him. After six months, she would do anything for him. Of course, that was when he was healthy. She couldn’t understand addiction, how it never goes away. After three horrible nights behind the bar, Dean snapped. He couldn’t take being the shit-drop anymore. He couldn’t stand listening to other people’s problems, and supposedly getting drink orders wrong. He knew he was good at his job. The fast pace, the hustle, and the free flowing booze in the bar was just enough to make him slip and make the phone call. At first, Jamie thought it was a one off. After two months of incessant mood swings, constant ups downs, yelling jags, and abuse that she had written off, Jamie realized this was not the man she fell for so hard.
She did everything she could in her power to try to get him clean. She flushed his stash at first. Dean was coming down off of his high, irritated as all hell, he picked her up by her shirt, feet off the ground, and threatened her. She blamed the drugs. Her Dean would never say such vile things. A week later, she deleted his dealers number off his phone when he was passed off, down from his high, thinking that he wouldn’t notice. But he did. He wasn’t dumb. He knew where to find Will. He always did and always will. She realized that too late. When he came home with his score, he did more than just lift her up and verbally abuse her. He whacked her across the face with an open palm. He told her, “I love you, I don’t want to hurt you but don’t mess with my shit.” Jamie still thought this was the drugs talking. She had more faith than she should in Dean. She wouldn’t let on to her girlfriends that anything was wrong at home. She was so eager to help Dean, that under the false pretense of going on a romantic getaway, she drove him to rehab. He couldn’t be held, and when they got home, he threatened her life.
At this point Jamie was prepared. She knew her Dean had loved her. But this wasn’t her Dean. This was Drug Dean. Between the second and third attempts, she bought a gun. She just meant to scare him so he wouldn’t hurt her. She was smart and realized the violence level was escalating every time she tried to help and that his mood swings were worse as the weeks went on. Dean grabbed the large kitchen knife and was waving it around like he was a character from Psycho, Jamie knew what she had to do. She tried to reason with him. Just until she could reach the bed. She grabbed her colt and held it firm in her hands, and told him to stop. She asked him where the old Dean was, the Dean that bought her fresh flowers from the farmers market every Sunday, the Dean who would put a note on her pillow when he left for work early to sign for a delivery, and the Dean who promised to love her forever. She told him that waving a knife was not love. Saying these things made her waver and weep, holding the revolver. But they only infuriated Dean. He felt he hadn’t changed. He told her that she was lucky to be with him, and who else would love her the way he did with her baby voice and incessant need to correct grammar usage, knowing those were her biggest insecurities. He crept toward her with the knife held upright, and Jamie out of fear retreated, tightening her whole body including her trigger finger, and shot the love of her life.
The next thing she knew Dean was on the floor, blood was pooling quickly. In a panic, she grabbed her duffel, threw underwear, jeans and t-shirts in and a picture frame of her and Dean from the happy times and ran out. Logically she knew it was self defense, but she couldn’t stand being there. She hit the road, changed her name to Sara, and never looked back. The classic blonde was now a stunning brunette with blue eyes and no family or friends from back home. Whenever someone asked her about that photo, she would simply say, “Its just someone I used to know.”